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Twas the Night before Christmas and only Wolverine was Stirring

Dec 24, 2008 Comics

MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! 

Since today is Christmas Eve, I decided to try and put a different spin on “The Night Before Christmas” written by Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston (depending on who you ask.  Wikipedia actually has an interesting write up regarding the Author Controversy HERE for anyone interested)

 Continue on to see what Christmas Eve might be like for Marvel’s Merry Mutants.

The following is set at the X-Mansion on Christmas Eve.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the X-Mansion

Not a mutant was stirring, as this was not sanctioned;

No stockings were hung, no one felt the need

Most of the X-men had settled down to relax, sleep or read.

The students were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of mutant tolerance danced in their heads;

With Beast in his lab, and Cyclops in his bed,

The mansion was quiet with no words being said.,

When outside of the doors there arose such a racket,

I sprang from my bed to see if we needed to attack it.

With the speed of Quicksilver I ran to the door,

Moving so quickly, I barely touched the cold floor.

The moon shone so brightly on the new fallen snow

Storm must have created the fresh blanket below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a Harley Davidson, and eight crushed, empty beers,

With a short hairy driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Snikt.

More rapid than eagles his pursuers they came,

And he yelled, and shouted, and called them all names;

Due to potential young readers with impressionable ears

I will not repeat what was said to you here.

What I can disclose was the warning he said;

“You best all be leaving ‘less you wanna end up dead.”

As sane people leave when this statement is made,

You can imagine that not many decided to stay.

So the clever pursuers took their immediate leave,

A wise decision on this cold Christmas Eve.

I looked back to see where the small man had gone,

I swore I could see him, but I must have been wrong.

As at that moment I turned right around,

and through the door came St. Snikt with a bound.

He was dressed all in tan, from his head to his toe

And his clothes were all covered with what, I don’t know.

A bundle of something he had flung on his back,

I did not know what he had contained in that sack.

His eyes — how they gleamed! his sideburns how hairy!

His cheeks NOT like roses, his nose NOT a cherry!

His old mouth was drawn up in somewhat of a sneer,

as he passed on the cookies and asked for a beer;

The last of a cigar he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke of it stank just like smouldering feet.

His face revealed this was not his first December

He’d had lifetimes of Christmases, too many to remember.

He was short and solid, and a little bit scary,

And I laughed due to nerves and hoped my Christmas would be merry;

A wink of his eye and a slap on my back,

Soon let me know there would be no attack;

He spoke not a word, except “Comin’ through Bub”

And then dropped off some presents while still smoking his stub.

Once he was through, he left how he came

Taking some cookies he ate just the same.

He mounted his bike, and began driving away,

I thought to myself what a unique type of sleigh.

But I heard him yell out as he sped out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

Merry Christmas everyone.  Please have a great holiday with friends and family.

Tags: Christmas, christmas eve, clement clarke moore, henry livingston, twas the night before christmas, wolverine, x-men, xmen